


Reach For The Mistletoe

by Theonewhosawitall



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Awkwardness, Ballroom Dancing, Christmas, Christmas Party, Christmas traditions, Drinking, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Governor's Gala, Hotel bathrooms are lunimal spaces when youre drunk, Inspired By Tumblr, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, New Year's Eve, Party, Pre shelburn, Sort Of, Stubbornness, Teasing, Tumblr Prompt, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27948146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theonewhosawitall/pseuds/Theonewhosawitall
Summary: Steve catches Danny hanging mistletoe in the office. Danny panics and lies about why.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 23
Kudos: 173





	1. Chapter 1

Steve leaned on the lower rungs of the step ladder and took a moment to admire the view. Danny had climbed high enough up it to display his rear end at an angle Steve couldn't really avoid. That new height with the familiar tight pants fitting snugly to frame him, it was an excellent view.

"What uh, what are you doing up there?" He asked, finally.

Danny glanced down like he hadn't noticed Steve was there. He looked a little sheepish. Whatever he was up to he had hoped Steve wouldn't find out was him. 

"One short joke and I'll punch you in the face again," he warned.

"I suppose it would be easier with the step ladder," Steve grinned.

He couldn't resist. The opportunity was too perfect. Danny twisted on the ladder to glare at him.

"You testing me Steve?" He challenged. 

"I guess not," Steve said, his eye moved to the greenery in his hand, "Is that mistletoe?"

Damn. Danny glanced down at it and wondered if he could pass it off as holly or something. But Steve knew more about plants than Danny ever had. There was no point lying. It would just lead to more teasing. 

"Yeah," he said. 

"Why?" Steve asked.

Danny rolled his eyes. The answer to that was pretty obvious. Not that he would admit that now. He definitely wasn’t about to tell his partner that he was hanging mistletoe in their office to try and catch him under it like a fool in one of Grace's favourite hallmark movies.

For one thing he had already lost his nerve at the idea of Steve knowing Danny had caused this. That left him vulnerable and he didn't like that. 

"Today's the day I get Kono to kiss me again," Danny lied.

Steve's hand slipped, almost knocking him off his feet as he went. His smile was wiped off his face and his heart thumped hard. He held that inside, fighting to keep his composure. 

"Aga- are you still counting that time she pretended to kiss you so you could get close enough to take down-" he began.

"We didn’t _have_ to kiss. She took that initiative," Danny argued.

"From where I stood it looked like you did," Steve countered.

Danny scoffed. He would never pretend he didn’t have a bit of a crush on Kono. He had from the moment he met her. That kiss, undercover or not, it had been good, but it felt weird. Like what Danny imagined kissing a cousin would feel like.

"It was a good kiss," he stated.

Steve's smile was becoming strained as he tried to pretend, he found this whole thing amusing. He was aware of Danny's silly little crush on Kono, but he thought it had gone away. Especially since Chin had let slip that Kono had some guy outside of work that she was keeping well away from them. 

"It was the first kiss you had in Hawaii," Steve argued, "You were _that_ lonely."

Danny felt a spark of annoyance that made him twist on the ladder again. "That, that is not true."

"It's not?" Steve sneered.

"Well the lonely part isn’t," Danny admitted. 

By the time he and Kono had kissed, Danny had already found loose friends in the HPD and joined Five-O. Between them and Grace he wouldn't allow himself to be lonely. He was anyway. Despite that, by the time Kono actually did kiss, he didn't feel so lonely. 

"And so what if Kono was my first Hawaiian kiss? You don’t kiss like that if there's not a spark of something," Danny argued. 

Steve rolled his eyes. His smile had vanished now. All he could do was try and keep the bitterness out of his tone and try to sound like he was still just teasing. 

"You know this is essentially sexual harassment right? I could report you to HR."

"Report- I tell you what, if it works, I'll report myself, alright, how about that?" Danny smirked. 

Steve scoffed as he stepped back for Danny to come back down off the ladder. 

"You're setting yourself up for a fall. Higher up than usual too," he warned.

"Alright, that's it-"

Danny lunged for him. Steve grinned as he darted backwards to get away. Danny dashed after him, a face like thunder. Steve raced to the other side of the table to stay as far back from him as he could. Every time Danny went one way, Steve went the other, like two children playing chicken. By the time Chin and Kono found them the mistletoe had been forgotten. Right up until Kono looked up.

"Hey what's, uh, what’s that?" She asked. 

The others followed her gaze. Chin glanced back at Danny and Steve, knowingly. Steve looked disheartened while Danny looked mildly alarmed, and Chin worked out the entire story instantly. 

"What, you don’t recognise mistletoe when you see it?" Steve asked.

"No, I do, but what's it doing here?" Kono asked.

"It's a Christmas tradition!" Danny shrugged. 

"This is a workspace," Kono countered, pointedly.

Danny glanced at Steve for help but Steve gave him an accusing look, as if he too were looking for answers. Only Chin took pity on him.

"Didn't you see the decoration team downstairs getting ready for the party? Someone must have gotten carried away."

"Way away, isn’t that party happening down the road?" Kono said, pointedly. 

Chin shrugged, "I like it. It's festive."

"Yeah, me too," Danny insisted. 

Kono set a hand on her hip and turned to Steve. "Boss?"

He was the deciding vote. As such, all eyes turned on him. The trouble was that Steve knew half of what he thought he did. He knew Danny had hung the mistletoe in order to trap a colleague under it, but he didn't know which colleague. He didn't like the idea of it not being him. But he also didn't like the idea of Danny holding it against him if he said to take it down. Besides if it stayed up long enough and didn’t work Danny would have to climb up that ladder to get it back down and Steve really appreciated that view.

"I tell you what, if you don't like it, don't stand under it. You're a grown woman with your own mind and you get to choose who you do and do not kiss, not a plant," Steve said.

He gave Danny a pointed nod. Danny tried his hardest to stop himself grimacing. This plan had already backfired on him and now it was going to take even more effort to get Steve to notice how he felt. If he ever did. It was incredibly frustrating. 

"I wonder if I can get Malia to drop by for a bit while that’s still up," Chin said.

"You still need to trick her into kissing you cuz?" Kono teased.

"At least I've got someone to kiss under the mistletoe," Chin teased back.

Kono rested a hand on her hip and challenged, "who says if don't?"

Danny felt his cheeks flush as he felt Steve's head tilt towards him. He stared stubbornly forward, even as Steve slunk closer to him. 

"You've got someone to spend Christmas with then Kono?" He asked. 

"I don’t know if we're at spending the holidays together yet, but maybe the new year," she shrugged.

"Ah yes. The new year. When you kiss someone you love at midnight for good luck. Who did you kiss last year Danny?" Steve challenged.

There was a bitter undertone to it that Danny didn't notice. Chin and Kono both did though. Steve was still scoping out his rivals, God help them. 

"I kissed Grace actually. It was the first time she managed to stay up late enough to see the fireworks on the roof of my apartment building and she fell asleep in my arms," Danny explained.

At the start of last year, on that roof top in New Jersey, holding his daughter close, was the moment he decided he was moving to Hawaii. The idea of spending any time away from her, even if it was only two weekends a month, he couldn't stand it. And he definitely wouldn't give his weekends up just because of a stupid ocean.

Steve softened slightly as he realised that Danny hadn't spent his new years with some unimpressed fling like Steve had. Catherine had been off on a mission again, and he had been too stubborn to go to the party alone. He wasn't happy at the new year. He was hoping this year he could kiss someone more important and maybe he would be.

"Why are you staring at me?!" Danny huffed defensively. 

"I'm not staring," Steve lied.

Danny folded his arms across his chest and glared at Steve. "You're being more annoying than usual today, any reason why or are you just hoping to be punched?"

"It's not me, it's you! You're touchy today!" Steve argued.

"I'm not touchy!"

"You're so sensitive, you’re like a little baby-"

"Because I have feelings! I’m a human person with human feelings unlike you, ya tin solider-"

"Tin solider, really?"

"Yes really! You're like a robot whose only task in life is to make trouble and paperwork!"

"I have feelings too Danny, I'm just not a baby about them being hurt-"

Kono nudged Chin and gestured upwards. The two shared a knowing grin as they waited. Steve stepped backwards to get away from Danny, but Danny followed, poking him in the chest to underline his argument. Kono and Chin both struggled to stifle their laughter as the two men came to a stop.

"What, _what_ are you two giggling about?!" Danny demanded.

Chin and Kono didn't answer. They just looked up , pointedly. Danny and Steve followed their gaze. Dangling elegantly above them, was a lush green plant dotted with plump white berries.

Directly over their heads.

Danny's stomach hit the floor. He had wanted this, but not like _this._ Not now he was all wound up and frustrated. Not in front of their entire team. He felt his cheeks flush hotter when his eyes met Steve's and he realised that Steve was grinning at him. He has this big goofy grin that made his eyes sparkle with mischief like he was up for it for a laugh. 

A laugh.

Danny wasn't a joke. This meant something to him and he wasn't about to let Steve dismiss it to humour him. The bitterness twisted in his chest. The plan was back on and he just wanted to run back to his office and sulk. He wouldn't let their first kiss be when he felt like this. Even when Steve cocked his eyebrow like that.

"Uh, no," Danny said, firmly. 

"C’mon Danny what happened to 'it's a Christmas tradition'?!" Kono teased.

Danny gestured to each of them in turn and repeated, firmly, "No. No. _No."_

"Come on Danny, you said you liked Christmas traditions!" Chin teased.

"This is sexual harassment, I could take you to HR-" Danny began, bitterly. 

"Maybe we should go to HR, I'm sure they'd be very interested to find out where that mistletoe came from in the first place," Steve said, pointedly.

Danny glared at him. He wasn't sure why Steve was so set on winding him up today but it felt like he was back on the school playground being teased for having a crush. It was childish. And it was frustrating that they thought his crush was on the wrong person. And they called themselves detectives! Well Danny wasn't about to stand here and be bullied. 

"I have work to do."

He turned on his heels and made a beeline for his office. If he could just make it inside and close the door behind him then he could have his breakdown in there. In privacy. 

"Come on Danny!" Kono urged as he went. 

"It was only a bit of fun Danny!" Chin insisted.

"Ah, let him go. It's not like he's tall enough to reach me anyway," Steve still teased, his voice ringing with something Danny couldn't put his finger on. 

He couldn’t help it. He froze midstep. Danny was not as short as people liked to tease him for, but it didn't help that he spent all of his time with a six foot hunk to be compared against. Steve really knew how to push Danny's buttons.

Danny turned back and returned to the spot he had just been in. The irritation was radiating out of him at such high levels that Chin and Kono took a step back just in case he swung for Steve again. 

He kept his tone low, calm, and in control as he said, "I know what you're trying to do, but I'm gonna be the bigger person and I am not going to rise to the challenge. So if you think-"

"You're not gonna rise to anything, that's for sure," Steve snorted. 

Steve couldn't resist. He liked the way Danny was quick to defend himself and prove that he was just as good, if not better, than anyone else around. Steve didn't need proof of that, he already knew it. Danny was good at anything he felt the need to dedicate himself to and Steve couldn't ask for a better partner or friend. Besides he could read Danny by now. He could tell what he was thinking, right down to the shine in his eyes. When he lowered his chin like that, but held stubbornly onto his gaze, Steve knew he had made a decision. 

"What, you gonna just stand there and-"

Whatever Steve had been about to say was lost instantly as Danny lunged for him. Danny's fingers wrapped around the navy-blue polo neck he had decided to wear today and yanked him down towards him. The instant that Steve was low enough, Danny latched onto the back of his neck to hold him down as he reached up to swallow his mouth in. 

Chin raised a fist to Kono. She didn’t even have to look his way to bump hers against it. 

Steve froze in surprise, his eyes wide as he stared at Danny's eyelids. His heart kept thundering so fast he could hear it rushing through his ears. Danny's hand moved to cup Steve's jawline, tugging him closer for just long enough to fit against him in a more comfortable position. Steve's hands worked automatically to find their way against Danny's waist. One stayed there, clamped tight like he wouldn’t risk letting Danny go, while the other moved up his back to pull him closer.

Danny was taken by surprise as Steve's mouth opened enough to battle his for supremacy. His heart thumped a little harder when he felt Steve's tongue curve curiously over his teeth. The reality of the moment struck him like a lightning bolt and he leapt back as though he had really been hit.

Steve stumbled when Danny shoved him back. His chest tightened as he stared at Danny. His mind was racing, wondering what he had done to be rejected just when it was getting interesting. Danny licked his plumped red lips nervously and tugged his shirt to smooth it out. Both of them were still a little breathless as they searched for words.

Steve was stunned into silence, but Danny's looked terrified. He cleared his throat and did his best to look unphased by the thunder currently in his chest.

"Too short," he scoffed, turned on his heels, and headed for his office, "Shows what you know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might do another chapter about new years i might not I haven't decided. For now its a complete work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record we all saw this coming. And this would have been just 2 chapters if SoMeOnE (me) would just stop writing.

To say Danny was avoiding Steve was an understatement. Danny was downright hiding from him. When he turned up at his apartment he sent Grace to answer the door and pretended to be busy in the kitchen. Kono and Chin had taken pity on him and every time they caught Steve heading towards Danny or his office, they swept in to take his attention elsewhere.

Danny regretted ever putting up that stupid mistletoe in the first place, more with every glance Steve's way. Just looking at him sent Danny's pulse rising and pushed him to the brink of a panic attack.

But at the same time he regretted nothing about that kiss except breaking it off. Every time he thought about it, and it was never far from his mind, it sent a buzz through his chest. Tingles ran through him to think of what Steve's tongue might have done next.

They were going to have to deal with this eventually, but the longer they waited the harder it got.

Especially for Steve.

Steve didn't like how distant they had suddenly become. He never meant to tease Danny so harshly, he didn't mean to force him into a kiss, and he still didn't understand what he had done that got him pushed away but he regretted it deeply. As much as Steve had wanted to kiss Danny, - as much as he _still_ wanted to kiss Danny, more than ever in fact - he missed his best friend even more. If Danny didn't feel the same way, Steve would hurt but he'd understand. He didn't want to lose Danny altogether because of it though.

But every time Steve got the nerve to apologise, Chin or Kono came sweeping in to usher him away again. After three days of driving up and sitting in his car staring at his apartment trying to work up the courage to go in, Steve had been greeted by Grace of all people.

Danny was actively avoiding him and he _hated_ it.

"The only chance I have to apologise is the governors new year's party. Danny has to be there and there'll be alcohol so he might talk to me," Steve said.

"Didn't you go to his house to talk to him?" Kono said.

"I did but he wouldn't talk to me so I just gave the presents to Grace and left," Steve said.

"Wait, you gave him a present and he hasn’t even said thanks yet?" Chin frowned.

Steve sighed, "I wouldn't blame him if he never talked to me again-"

"What? That's stupid," Kono scoffed.

"He didn't even want to kiss me in the first place, he hung the mistletoe up for Kono-" Steve began.

"Me?" Kono interrupted.

Steve's eyes widened in alarm. "I... I didn't mean to say that..."

Chin tilted his head towards Kono and whispered something. Kono gave him a look and chuckled. Steve said nothing but he had questions.

"Steve you said it yourself, grown ass adults get to decide who they do and do not kiss, not plants," Kono said.

That was difficult to argue with. The same theory that stopped Kono kissing Danny made Danny kiss him which meant that some part of Danny, however small, had wanted to kiss him in the first place. That was basically no comfort now that Steve had been rejected by him.

"Yeah... but it would be way easier if he was drunk," Steve said.

Both Chin and Kono were in no way surprised by Steve being scared. The man didn't like being vulnerable. He still wouldn't admit that Catherine had been his girlfriend. _She_ could be avoided though. Danny cannot. He was Steve's partner. More than that though he was Steve's best friend. Steve didn't want to do _anything_ that could damage that, no matter what.

"So what this plan boils down to," Chin began thoughtfully as he considered what Steve had just said, "is essentially spiking Danny's drink?"

"What?! No! I-" Steve sat up in alarm.

His idea was a simple one. Danny would never drink to the level Steve needed him to at a sophisticated party like this one. He had too much dignity to risk losing it over a few too many longboards. However, once Danny got a blue Hawaiian in him, he found it hard to resist another three. They were like alcoholic slushies’ and he had always been fond of those slushies’ that turned your teeth blue. To get him to agree to the first blue Hawaiian though, they would have to claim it was virgin.

"It's more of a... lie by omission I guess," Steve muttered.

Chin and Kono shared a look. One of them had gone down the path of sexual harassment, the other was going for spiked drinks. Everyone around them knew that they didn’t have to do either if they would just man up and admit they liked each other.

What a couple of idiots they were.

"Will you please help me?" Steve asked.

"I think this is a stupid idea, if you want to apologise you should just ask him to dance with you. He's too polite to refuse and then he'll have to listen to what you have to say," Kono said firmly.

Truth be told Steve had considered that. He had thought back to when Grace was learning how to jitterbug at school. She was proud of what she had learned and wanted to show Danny and Steve how far she had come. That turned into a little dance party which went from Grace standing on Steve's feet as he danced to, somehow, Steve and Danny dancing together. It has something to do with Steve bragging about learning to slow dance at military charity balls. He had once been auctioned off as a date to raise money for rotated off soldiers to help them reintegrate into society and dance skills were a must. However when dancing with _Danny_ of all people, Steve's nerves got the better of him. He forgot how to follow when he was used to leading and kept stepping on Danny's feet until he gave up and they went back to jitterbugging. Steve didn't want to be constantly thinking about his footing while trying to apologise.

"Because drunk and swaying is much better to apologise to, right?" Kono snorted.

"It's better than this," Steve argued.

He threw a hand into the air to underline his argument. 'This' was the strange static in the air whenever he and Danny happened to be in the same room. It repelled them from one another, forcing them to run for the safety of their offices, without actually running because that would draw too much attention to themselves. Steve groaned as he buried his face in his hands.

"I should have just said take it down. If I had just sided with you Kono none of this would have happened,"

Kono hummed. On the one hand she appreciated the fact that someone else was pointing out the fact that Kono was always right, on the other, she didn’t want to be right about this. She looked to Chin for help. He had more tact when it came to things like this.

"Steve, wouldn’t it be easier to just tell him the truth? This whole thing is only awkward because neither of you know where you stand anymore. If you just told him that you like him then you could try dating, which is what you want right?" Chin asked gently.

"And if he says he doesn’t feel the same way, which he doesn’t, because he's straight and has a daughter and an ex wife he still thinks about constantly, then it will make things more awkward which will strain our friendship and make it harder to work together which means I'll lose my partner and this whole task force could fall apart," Steve stated.

Wordlessly Chin glanced to Kono for help . She had no idea what to say and just said the first thing that popped into her head.

"At least you'll know where you stand!"

Steve groaned and dropped his head onto the desk as Chin gave Kono a look that said 'what did you say that for' and all she could do was shrug. Needless to say Steve was going with plan A.

...

Goofy thumbs make it hard to do simple things like texting or using that stupid touch activated table in the office. Usually though Danny had no trouble doing his tie. He had put one on every morning for nearly twenty years. Today though his hands were shaking and his thumbs were being worse than ever and he just couldn’t tie his tie. He huffed with frustration and threw it across the bed.

This was so stupid. This was ridiculous. He had been a fool to let Steve get the better of him and an even bigger fool to pull back when things were getting interesting. Panic made him hide too. Panic made him a fool and now he had to face the music.

Or he could back out of the party.

Except he couldn't just back out of the party.

Could he?

No. They were expecting him. He was an important member of the Five-O taskforce that the governor controlled. He had to go.

And face Steve. His partner. Who he had kissed. Who he had wanted to kiss for what felt like ever. And then pushed away when Steve kissed him back.

 _Had_ Steve kissed him back? He had definitely held him tightly - he had pink marks on his waist for days - but had he actually meant to kiss him back? Or was it just Danny's imagination?

He had gone over and over it a thousand times a minute since the moment his office door slammed shut and it all seemed like a crazy dream to him now. The only reasons he knew it had definitely happened was because Chin and Kono were constantly telling him to go for it again and hold his nerve this time, and because every time he saw Steve the memory replayed in his mind and he felt so full of butterflies he wanted to throw up. Which made it hard to be a good partner let alone a good friend.

Danny groaned and dropped face down onto his bed like a teenage girl in one of Grace's cloying movies.

This was ridiculous. He was grown man. A grown man with a crush. Who he had kissed. And then run away. And was going to see tonight. At a ball. Wearing a tuxedo.

Yeah he was going to need a drink.

Danny took a cab to the ball. Five-O had been given two hotel rooms at the venue, like every other organisation coming. Danny had already made up his mind that he was staying in one tonight. He walked in as subtly as he could to avoid being noticed before he was good and drunk. Instinctively he glanced back to try and scope out the crowds. It was familiar faces. Power players of Hawaii. Duke was back at the table in the corner. Some top officers at HPD - and Pua - were crowded around it. Duke bounced between that and the bar. Danny traced him across the room. When he hit the bar, he noticed Kono and Chin crowded together there. If they noticed him-

"Danny!"

Danny gave a weak smile. They were so happy to see him that he couldn't just pretend he hadn’t noticed. Besides, Kono was wearing enough bracelets that she jingled when she waved.

"Looking sharp Williams!" She grinned as he got close.

"Really? I couldn't get my tie on without strangling myself," he admitted.

His hand moved sheepishly to his throat now. He had dressed himself as neatly as he could in his best suit, smoothing the jacket repeatedly on the way here, but he couldn't get the tie to fit without it feeling like a noose. In the end he gave up trying. Danny felt a little exposed with his collar open like that. He kept tugging nervously on his cufflinks since his tie wasn’t there the fiddle with like usual.

"You look uncomfortable," Chin said.

Danny groaned. He felt uncomfortable. As much as he wanted to avoid Steve he kept looking around for him. He wouldn't be able to relax until he knew where Steve was so he could avoid him. Then again he wouldn’t be able to relax once he was avoiding Steve again either.

"Here, stop doing this-" Kono grabbed onto Danny's wrists so he couldn't keep fiddling and set them on the bar.

"You need either a drink or a partner to hold Danny," Chin decided.

Danny's heart missed a beat, "A partner?"

"A dance partner," Chin assured hi.

"Dance - no I’m not, I'm not dancing tonight," Danny shook his head.

"Yes you are. Here," Kono handed him a glass of blue liquid that was mostly crushed ice with a cocktail umbrella. "Get this down you and loosen up. It's a party. Let's have some _fun!"_

As soon as Danny had thrown back enough of his blue Hawaiian to give him a brain freeze, and recovered from said brain freeze, Kono took his hand and lead him out to the dance floor. Danny set a hand on her waist and took her other hand.

"Wow, look at that, you’re a natural. After everything we've tried to get you to loosen up, who knew it would be dancing?" She teased.

"Dancing is something I'm good at. You should see me box," Danny said.

"I'd like to!" She laughed.

Kono couldn't imagine Danny boxing. She knew he had a mean right hook - she had seen Steve's bruises - but he was sweet as anything most of the time. A bit grumpy sure, but he was nice. When he asked her to teach him to surf so he could have fun with his daughter it was clear that he was swallowing pride to admit he needed help with something. Since then, and for various other reasons, Kono had become rather defensive of her boss. Not that she'd ever admit it but he was possibly her best friend.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes," Danny muttered apologetically.

"It's okay, it's my fault. Dancing is not something I’m great at," Kono admitted.

"There's something you’re not great at?!" Danny laughed.

The idea was unbelievable to him. Kono seemed to dedicate herself to everything she did enough to be excellent at whatever she tried. He had a feeling she was being modest but when she stumbled again he felt a spark of pride. Maybe, just maybe, there was something he was better at than Kono. He just couldn't believe it was the thing he'd only put effort into for Rachel's sake.

"Don't get me wrong I’m excellent at hula but this," Kono tugged his arm gently to indicate the ball dancing they were currently attempting, "is a little outside my comfort zone."

"Didn't your uncle take you to the rodeo every year? They must have had line dancing," Danny teased.

Kono was about to reply but she suddenly snorted and laughed so hars that she had to rest her head on Danny's shoulder. Danny grinned. Kono had a beautiful laugh. It could put him at ease almost instantly.

"What?!" He grinned.

"Sorry, nothing, I was just trying to imagine you line dancing!" She grinned back.

"Hey, I got some moves! I've got the old square step- watch, watch - you’re not watching!"

Danny let go of her hands to show off some crappy cowboy esk moves that he had learned as a kid to amuse his sisters. And because he wanted to be a cowboy back then. He had a hat and spurs and everything. Kono had her face behind her hand, peeking one eye between her fingers as she laughed at him.

Steve slid in beside Chin, looking as dashing as he possibly could in his tuxedo. He had even chosen a tie tonight in a vague attempt to draw Danny's attention. Before he could ask where Danny was, Chin gestured to the dance floor.

"Are you sure about your crush there Steve?" he teased.

"It's not a _crush,_ I just..."

Steve's words died on his tongue when he looked up. His eyes fell on Danny, in his suit, with his neck bare for once, with his thumbs hooked over his belt, boot scooting like a fool at a prestigious event. The smile on his face was dazzling. Joyous. Goofy. That was enough to make his stomach tangle.

But his heart dropped to see Kono sweep forward to save them both from embarrassment by taking him back into their original dance.

Kono looked amazing. She had a long sleek black dress littered with little gems so she sparkled when she moved. Her hair had been swept back up out of her face into a messy but elegant bun that showed off dangling earrings that just had to be fake. No one on a cops salary could afford diamonds like that. When she danced, her bare leg was visible through the slit in her skirt, which showed off her sleek black heels.

She was devastatingly gorgeous with very little effort.

With that and her glorious personality it was no wonder Danny was so enthralled with her. Steve couldn't compete with that. When the alcohol finally hit into him, Danny nuzzled against Kono's neck slightly as his balance started to get wobbly.

"When I said get him relaxed enough to drink this is not what I had in mind," Steve grumbled.

"What? He's relaxed. He's had half of this already. And that's the first smile I've seen from him in two weeks," Chin said.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," Steve mumbled.

Steve hadn't seen much of Danny since he'd failed in his attempt to get Kono to kiss him. Now the only place he would smile was in Kono's arms. Right up until a vaguely familiar face slipped through the crowd to tap Danny's shoulder.

"Mind if I cut in?" He asked.

Danny looked up at the same time as Kono. Kono gave such a quiet gasp that Danny felt a sharp bite of alarm. He tightened his grip on Kono's waist protectively.

"Mr Noshimuri," she muttered.

"Noshimuri? As in -" Danny began.

Adam gave a smile and nodded, "Yes."

Danny looked him up and down. "I see."

Adam Noshimuri was the son of the head of the Hawaiian branch of the Yakuza. A deadly crime gang that had been terrorizing the island for years. Danny wasn’t about to let Adam put his dear friend Kono in danger.

"What are you doing here Mr Noshimuri?" Kono asked.

"Please, call me Adam," He smiled.

His eyes basically never left Kono. He kept glancing up at her earrings. There was a sparkle in his eyes like he knew something no one else did. He didn't even notice the way Danny's hand stayed firmly around Kono, ready to defend her if he had to.

Not that he ever thought he could. If Kono was ever in trouble he could be back up, sure, but she could definitely handle herself.

Steve did though. He tensed when he saw it. That caught Chin's attention.

"I was invited. My father is good friends with the governor," Adam said.

"I'll bet," Danny scoffed.

"May I cut in?" Adam repeated.

He turned his head towards Danny pointedly. Adam glanced Danny up and down for a moment, and decided instantly that he was no threat. Chin, however, took one look at Adam and decided he was.

"Actually we were-" Danny began.

"We got a problem here bruh?" Chin challenged.

He muscled his way in between Kono and Danny and Adam. Kono could handle herself and yet she had two men there to defend her, and Steve would too if anything actually went down. Kono put a hand on Chin's shoulder and tugged him back gently.

"Stand down cuz. Ad- uh, Mr Noshimuri was just asking for a dance," Kono eased him.

Chin hummed dubiously. He might have been Kono's cousin but he acted like her big brother. An over protective big brother. He sized Adam up pointedly as Kono nudged Danny. Danny gave her an uncertain look. She gave him a pointed one back. He didn't need words to understand any woman when they looked at him like that. He loathed the day Grace gave it to him. Danny took Chin's hand and edged him towards the bar again, away from the dance floor. Both of them gave Adam a deadly look as they went. Once they were gone, Adam gave Kono a weak smile.

"They're just like you said," he said.

"I can't believe you actually came," she said.

"I said I would," he said.

"You know how dangerous this is," she muttered.

Adam's eyes twinkle. He knew exactly how dangerous it was. If anyone from his gang figured out just how well he knew Kono then they would have a big problem, and if any of the detectives around them thought there was more to this dance than just a dance she could be considered compromised.

It was dangerous.

Tantalisingly so.

"Shall we?" Adam winked.

"I don't see why not," Kono smiled.

It was difficult to keep herself looking like she wasn't drawn to Adam as they danced. She wanted to hold him close and make him prove that the dance lessons he had taken as a child weren't wasted. But she couldn't. Not with three sets of eyes pinned to her. Now Danny was by his side, Steve too had joined in the defence.

"Who is that guy think he is?" Steve huffed.

"Adam Noshimuri. Son of the head of the yakuza crime family. Dancing with my cousin..." Chin didn’t try to hide the snarl in his tone.

"It's just a dance," Danny said gently.

Danny was trying to reassure Chin but Steve scoffed behind his drink. If anyone tried the same reasoning when it was _Grace_ being danced with- well Danny wouldn't have left the dance floor lets put it that way.

"I swear if he lays one finger on her-" Chin began.

"Kono can handle herself Chin," Danny said.

"Not to mention her new man. She's not the type to mess around," Steve said, pointedly.

"And she doesn’t exactly seem desperate to get away..." Danny muttered.

"I need another drink," Chin snarled.

He shoved his way through the crowd to reach the bar, leaving Danny and Steve alone together, watching him go.

"That can't end well," Steve hummed.

"No. No, I uh, I don’t think it will," Danny agreed.

"Good think we have two rooms huh? Chin can sleep off his hangover in one of them," Steve joked.

"Or a jail cell," Danny said.

"He's got nothing to worry about, Kono's a smart woman and an excellent cop, she wouldn’t risk throwing it away for a cheap thrill," Steve said firmly.

Danny hummed in agreement. His gaze moved back to track Kono and Adam as he twirled her. She couldn’t hold back the laugh that filled her and it rang out across the room. Steve followed his gaze. He held in a sigh.

That stupid kiss. It twisted in Steve's mind. Of course Danny had rejected him. Of course he didn’t feel the same way. How could he? He was straight. Painfully straight.

"I uh... I see you didn't bring Catherine this time."

Steve blinked in surprise. He hadn't noticed Danny glancing around behind him to try and spot whoever he had dared to come here with tonight.

"Cath's on manoeuvres. Last I heard she was somewhere in Monaco," Steve shrugged.

"Oh. So you are still in touch with her?" Danny said.

"She's a good friend," Steve shrugged again.

"Right. A friend."

Danny didn't really know what to do with this information. If Catherine was just a friend that was fine. Sort of. But she would always be important to Steve in the same way Rachel was important to him. If, after all this time, she came back and wanted to get back together, would Steve be led astray?

"You didn't bring Grace," Steve said.

"She's with Rachel for the new year."

"Ah."

Steve was disappointed. It was easier to talk when Grace was around. She didn’t sense the tension in the room. She just liked to dance and play and laugh. It was much easier to avoid the awkward, stunted moments like this when Grace was here to dance through them. Danny just thrust his hands into his pockets.

"I had her for Christmas this year ysee," he said.

"Yeah, I - I saw her, briefly, when I was dropping off your present," Steve cleared his throat.

Danny felt a flicker of shame about hiding in the kitchen while Steve visited. "Yeah, t-thanks for that by the way. If I had known what you were there for I would've..."

"It's alright, I wasn't expecting anything in return," Steve shrugged.

Danny nodded quietly. He didn't know what to say. When he had opened the present - and it had taken him a while to get up the courage to do so - what he saw took him by surprise. Steve had handpicked him a tie of all things. Silk. 100%. Blue, but pale blue, not the same kind of dark ones he usually wore. This one brought out his eyes. Steve's eyes lingered on Danny's open collar for as long as he could bare. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"You're not wearing it tonight."

"No. No, I couldn't, uh..." Danny's hand brushed against his neckline to circle where his tie should have rested on his chest, "I decided not to wear one tonight."

"Mmm. So I see... It suits you."

"Thanks."

The conversation shrivelled again and both of them separately rolled their eyes away from the other, frustrated. God it shouldn't be this hard to talk to someone.

Steve cleared his throat again, "Beer?"

"Actually I think it's all cocktails tonight," Danny said.

"Blue Hawaiian then?" Steve smirked.

Danny paused. He glanced up at him suspiciously. "How did you-"

Steve gave a slightly smug but slightly sheepish smile to the ground as he scratched his eyebrow, "It was the first thing you ever said you liked about Hawaii."

It happened so long ago now that it took Danny a moment to remember the first time he ever walked into that tikki bar he and Danny frequented these days.

"Oh. You remember that?" He muttered.

"Course. I can count every time you’ve ever complimented this place on my fingers. I remember all of them..."

"Oh."

Danny wanted to say more but he didn't know what. Steve seemed just as uncertain as he felt and Danny couldn't bare it. He felt like whatever he could say would only make things worse, but if he didn't say anything... Steve leaned across the bar.

"Two blue Hawaiians please," He said.

He tapped his card against the edge of the bar as he watched the bartender reach for the glasses. Part of Danny wanted to tease him for finally breaking our his card for a change, but it wasn’t the time. Instinct wouldn't let him. In fact, it went the other way.

"You don’t - I mean, I can pay-"

"No, no, it's uh, it's..."

Danny found himself staring slightly as he waited for the end of that sentence. If he dared to say it was an apology...

"It's on me."

Oh. Danny's defences weakened slightly. Alright, they weren't about to talk about what had happened, but at least he wasn't sorry. Steve kept his eyes on the barman. That way he didn’t have to look at Danny when he talked to him.

"Besides I like the idea of you drinking blue Hawaiians. Blues a good colour on you," Steve said.

"Like my tie?" Danny teased cautiously.

"Uh..."

Steve ran a hand across his face as he tried to think of a response but his stomach twisted. The tie had been a risk. The colour reminded him of Danny - mind you his mind seemed to find a way to link anything to Danny recently. Mind you he couldn't bare to think of that kiss anymore. He couldn't get it out of his head. The surprise and delight that came with it. Right up until he was shoved back away from him. The shame and fear that came with that made Steve's cheeks flush. He coughed to cover up the doubts he was trying to keep inside.

"You alright? Need a drink for that?" Danny asked, concerned.

Steve shook his head. He was relieved to hear the concern in his tone though. It meant that he did still care. Danny always cared, even when he was mad. Usually he was mad because he cared. It had taken Steve a long time to work that out.

"Here. One blue Hawaiian," Steve said as he slid the drink towards Danny.

Danny muttered a thank you as he took it. Steve was silently working on a bad segue that included referring to himself as a blue Hawaiian but he was just a local and it didn't fit right and it just sounded cheesy. All thoughts were wiped clean from his mind when his fingers brushed against Danny's though. It was like a static charge ran through him and made his mind fuzzy. At the touch he snatched his hand back instinctively.

Danny cursed as he spilt some of the drink onto his shoes. Steve had snatched his hand away so fast it was like he was too scared to even touch Danny. His heart sank. After Steve had almost kissed him back, Danny quietly hoped Steve would keep being as touchy as he always had been but this suggested otherwise.

One stupid challenge and their whole relationship had changed.

Danny threw back the drink, gulping half of it down so fast he hissed at the brain freeze that followed. Steve straightened his back urgently.

"You okay?!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine I- I'll be right back-"

Danny staggered and clutched the bar with one hand and his head with the other to hurry over to Chin. Steve watched him go, clueless as to how to help. He wanted to. Usually he would have an instant plan to deploy and a witty one liner to tease him for being so stupid. Today though he couldn't even muster the courage to try and stop him walking away when he was clearly struggling.

To help him would mean having to hold him upright and to hold him upright meant touching him again. Not just brushing hands either. Clutching his chest. Hauling his weight against his body. Having him so close that his breath would warm his cheek.

Steve shuddered at the thought. He couldn't deal with this anymore. One stilted conversation and he couldn't take it anymore. Not knowing where they stood was worse than just being rejected. He needed an answer for his own sake. Which meant he needed to tell Danny the truth.

Which meant he was going to need a drink.

"Hey, uh, have you got anything strong? Tequila will do. Can I get um... three, three shots please?"

Danny dropped his head onto the table beside Chin and have a loud and drawn out groan of frustration.

"I gave myself a _brain freeze_ Chin. The man has taken bullets for me and I _froze my brain_ to get away from him."

"At least it's proof you have one. I was beginning to doubt that much," Chin said.

Danny rolled his head to one side to look at Chin with one eye. "That's not helpful."

Chin ignored him. He gestured to where Adam and Kono were talking to Duke. Adam's hand was firmly planted on the low of Kono's back as she ignored him.

"Do you think Kono could be in danger?" Chin asked.

Danny sat up instantly, ready to fight, "What? From who? Why?"

"I'm just thinking... we don't really know who she was hanging around with when she went undercover with Delano-" Chin began.

Danny shook his head, "Adam Noshimuri knows Kono's a cop. She shot that guy, that, that - oh God what was his name? The lawyer guy. You know, the one working with Wo Fat, the one who tried to shoot Adam?"

"Ted Lansing," Chin said calmly before sipping his beer.

" _Ted Lansing_! That's the one!" Danny declared.

Chin finally looked away from Kono to eye Danny. He was sipping his drink through the straw but he had drunk enough to stain the edges of his lips blue.

"How many of those have you had?"

"I may have had one or two at home before coming here," Danny admitted.

"May have?"

"To settle my nerves."

"Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to mix drinks?"

"My point is!" Danny argued stubbornly, "Kono saved his life. Believe me that is an aphrodisiac-"

"Kono isn't going to sleep with him, she's way too smart for that!" Chin argued.

"Right, she's smart. And beautiful. And brave. And funny. And sassy. And passionate, good with kids, dedicated, loyal, strong, flexible, the best sniper in the whole of Five-O, I mean Steve was in the army and he couldn't do half of what she's done-"

 _"Navy,_ Danny, not army," Steve corrected.

Danny bit down on the straw so that he wouldn't have to say anything. Steve sat down beside him but not as close to Danny as he usually would. Danny noted that silently. When he moved his leg his knee didn't knock against Steve's. He couldn't decide if he was disappointed or glad. He didn’t seem to notice when Steve shifted a little too much as he sat down.

"Who's what done?" Steve asked.

"What who's done," Chin corrected.

"That's what I said," Steve lied.

"Kono," Danny said.

"Kon- oh," Steve frowned to himself.

"That's what _I_ said," Danny snorted.

Chin glanced between Danny and Steve. Danny couldn't see the way that Steve's face fell. How disappointed he looked now. Even though he had drunk enough to actually _look_ how he felt, Danny didn't notice them.

Both of them had drunk enough that the next hour or two was going to leave them with huge headaches tomorrow and he could see it plainly despite his own headaches. Between these two and Adam he had enough of them. Steve cleared his throat.

"She's a smart, brilliant and beautiful woman. She's- pardon the phrase Chin, I know she's family, but she's _sexy-"_

"Hey now," Chin threatened.

"I don't mean anything by it Chin, it's just an undeniable fact," Steve assured him.

"Another fact is that last time you two were left unsupervised you both ended up out of a job and you were jailed," Chin huffed.

"And she didn't confess or rat me out either. She’s an excellent partner. Always has your back. She cares... Whoever she ends up with will be a very lucky man," Steve said quietly.

"Yeah... really lucky," Danny muttered.

Chin huffed, "Well if I have any say in it-"

"You don't," Danny stated.

"It won't be the likes of _Adam Noshimuri,_ " Chin finished firmly.

"That I agree with," Danny said.

Steve let out a sigh heavy enough to sink the pair of them. Despite the glitz and the glamour draped around them it seemed like the only two having a good night were Adam and Kono. They were also the only two still sober.

"You two should go have fun, I think I might be bad company for a while," Chin said.

"You sure? I don’t want to leave you alone to wallow in your sadness," Steve said.

"I'm not wallowing. And I think my sadness just evaporated," Chin sat up eagerly.

Chin was looking straight past them towards the front entrance. When Danny and Steve turned to see why, they understood instantly. The medical unit had arrived late, as usual, but they had arrived dressed to the nines. Malia with them. She had a beautiful knee length black dress on that showed off he curves and shimmied the skirt when she walked. Coupled with the way her hair rolled down her shoulders and the clutch in her hand glimmered, she looked amazing. It was a choice between leaving Kono to defend herself against Adam, which they all knew she could do, and spending time with the woman who still held his heart. Both of them knew what the choice would be.

"Well don't let us stop you! Go on, go!" Danny ushered.

Chin glanced at them uncertainly but even Steve was telling him to get out of there. He stumbled slightly as he rose to his feet, but he smoothed his tie to hold his nerve. Danny snorted.

"If I cant fiddle with my cuffs your cant keep smoothing your tie man. Take a breath, chill out, and go be handsome," Danny said.

"Go be handsome?" Chin sneered.

"It's what you do best," Steve agreed.

Chin took a deep breath like he was told and smoothed his shirt one last time before walking off towards Malia. Danny and Steve watched him go. Malia lit up to see him. He went in to kiss her cheek but she reached up to hug him. It was a mild fumble but they laughed it off. Chin held out an arm for her to take. She smiled, linked her arm though his, and let him take her over to her table. Steve's chest eased to see it.

If those two could get past a cancelled wedding he had Danny could get past a silly kiss.

"They grow up so fast huh?" Danny said affectionately.

Steve forced a chuckle, "Yeah..."

They sat at the edge of the room watching their friends laughing along with their found partners as they wandered towards the dance floor. The music was upbeat and cheerful. Friend groups were dancing together in little clusters, bouncing into each other to mingle with others. They made it look so easy to just let loose and dance for the sake of it. Steve had been around long enough to know that alcohol helped, and he had drunk enough of that.

"Danny, I uh... I was just wondering..."

Danny looked back at him as Steve bowed his head slightly. There was a long pause before Danny pushed him on.

"You gonna keep wondering or you gonna share whatever thought is rattling in that thick head of yours?"

"Do you want to dance?"

Steve spat it out like if he didn’t say it all sat once he wouldn't say it at all. He was still staring down at the ground as he did. Danny blinked at him. For the first time he could see the nerves Steve was feeling too. For the first time it hit him, really hit him, that it took two to kiss. That Steve was just as nervous as him, but he at least had been trying to move past it before now, unlike Danny who had just hidden himself away to avoid awkwardness. Instead it had just built up.

And since it took two to tango...

Danny rose from his seat wordlessly. Steve stayed seated, but he looked up, waiting for permission. Danny held a hand out to him.

"Come on then. Before the music changes!" He urged.

Steve finally smiled. He stood up and let Danny take his hand to lead him out onto the dance floor. It sent tingles through both of them to touch again but they fought through it. Danny let go as they reached the rest of the crowd. The upbeat swell kept their feet up.

Danny was a dad and he danced like one. Steve laughed so hard that Danny scoffed and told him he was just jealous. Steve took it as a challenge. From the other side of the room Duke nudged Chin and gestured to the two of them. Chin assured Duke that even though he had no idea who those two strange men were, they were undoubtedly spend the night in a hotel room upstairs and be safe. Then Chin nudged Kono pointedly. Kono took a moment to recover from the coil of second hand embarrassment in her chest before slipping quietly behind the booth to have a word with the DJ.

Danny and Steve were laughing. It eased both of them to hear the other laugh again. It was almost easy to forget how awkward things had been. Easy to pretend and move on and never talk about it again.

Until the music changed.

The music slowed to a new and more romantic tempo. Around them, partners coupled together to link their hands around each other, hold the other close, and dance slowly. Intimately. Steve's heart sank. He had been having fun dancing with Danny. It seemed like they had been stuck apart for too long to remember fun. But after what they had been through he was sure Danny wouldn't slow dance with him. Steve didn’t really like to slow dance so it should have been okay, but he couldn't help feeling disappointed...

Danny cleared his throat awkwardly. Everyone else was dancing. He didn’t want to be left out. Danny held out a hand.

Steve blinked at him in a tangled look of awe and surprise. Like he couldn’t believe his luck and he didn't dare risk it by verbalizing it. Hesitantly, he took Danny's hand.

"I lead," Danny said firmly.

"Uh, I haven't done it for a while but I'll try to follow," Steve said sheepishly.

"Don’t worry I'm sure I'll step on your toes," Danny smirked.

"You're supposed to make it look like a accident," Steve smiled despite himself.

"Where's the fun in that?" Danny teased.

Steve gave a weak smile. He had no idea what else he could do. His legs were turning to jelly and the alcohol on his breath was making his head spin. Not to mention Danny. Danny's lips were still stained blue and just being close enough to see that made Steve’s insides flip. When he tried to fit in against Danny to dance his fingers kept fumbling.

"S-sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay, it's okay, I uh..."

"I need to p-put my hand-"

"I need to hold you- not hold you, I need to, to, to uh, yeah..."

Danny's hands slipped from Steve's shoulder to his waist and then he snatched it back like it had given him an electric shock. He was vividly aware of the way Steve's free hand was fitting into his but putting one on his waist just seemed so... daring.

Steve swallowed hard as Danny hesitantly set his hand back on Steve's side, higher than it should be. It was uncomfortable for both of them, but Danny especially. His arm stretched too high up to be comfortable and that made him feel more awkward than necessary and Steve could sense it.

The frustration built up before they even attempted their first step until Steve just huffed bitterly.

"Oh this is ridiculous!"

Danny felt like he'd been shot. His hands fell away from Steve instantly and he took a step backwards. The disappointed was written on his face but the _fear_ in his eyes when he looked up at Steve made his stomach twist.

"You don't wanna dance?" Danny muttered.

"No, no, I do! I do Danny, I do, but it shouldn't be this _hard!"_ Steve complained, "There's this stupid big elephant sitting between us and now I can't even hold your hand comfortably to dance and I hate it!"

Danny licked his lips nervously, "Steve-"

"I want... I want to talk about it..." Steve muttered.

It was a lie. Steve didn’t want to talk about it, but he also didn’t want to talk about anything else.

"Steve..." Danny whispered.

Danny gave a soft shake of his head. This wasn't the right time. Not when they had just been so close to forgetting all about it.

Steve bowed his head low and stared down at the ground.

"You pushed me away..."

They had kissed and it had happened and it had meant everything to Steve right up until Danny pushed him away like he had done something wrong. Steve couldn't take not knowing what.

Danny's chest seized. The quiet ache in Steve's voice was something that felt not entirely unknown, but he couldn’t place his finger on why. He just knew he wanted to make it go away.

"I didn't mean to," he admitted, quietly, "I panicked."

Steve still didn’t look up. "I've been racking my mind..."

He couldn’t bring himself to say more. Sentences in his head didn't come finished. His mind wouldn't let them finish. That gave voice to those little nagging fears buried deep in his mind that he never wanted to face.

Danny bowed his head a little. He had learned the signs of a panic attack by now and he could feel one growing in his chest, but apparently they were doing this now. He wouldn't miss his moment.

"When you kissed me back - did um... did you, did, did you mean it?"

Steve glanced up momentarily before snatching his eyes away from Danny and back to their surroundings. The music played on around them, and couples danced merrily together. Lovingly. It taunted Steve to see them. He gulped.

"Danny... we should go. Outside I mean. Its quiet out there. We can talk..."

Danny blinked. He still didn’t have his answer, but he did have a weight on his chest like an elephant crushing down on him. Steve turned away first, just expecting Danny to follow. He did. He grumbled to himself as he did though.

"Right. The balcony. Great. Maybe I can throw myself off. I'm sure the hospital staff would understand. I didn’t want a panic attack so I threw myself off a building to avoid talking to a man I once kissed. How the hell did we end up here?"


	3. Chapter 3

The balcony was quieter than the main ballroom. People went downstairs to smoke in the garden where there was light so up here there was more space to sit. Steve didn't sit though. He walked to the end of the balcony, as far away from the party as he could get. He was drawn naturally to the corner that was closest to the sea. From here they could just about see it through the trees around the edge of the plot.

When the door shut behind them it muffled the music. Low chattering and laughter drifted up on the breeze from the party below though. Behind that, a distant sound of ocean waves. The ocean was never too far away on this island. Even in the middle of Honolulu, if you tried really carefully, you could just about hear it.

The lights were low on the balcony. It came from the limited moonlight and the solar powered guides on the tables. But Steve had chosen a dark corner to avoid those lights. The sky was dark now and crammed with stars. Even on a cloudy night like this, more stars were visible than back in Jersey. It was warmer too. Part of Danny shivered in memory of new years eve in his home city, up to his knees in snow...

Home felt like an entirely different world these days, but he wouldn't give up Five-O for anything. Except maybe Grace.

Danny leaned against the railings beside Steve. Both of them stared out and down towards the open land instead of daring to look at each other.

"Are we gonna talk, or just enjoy the view?"

Steve felt Danny’s eyes searching his face for answers. As much as Steve wanted to give them, he has questions of his own first. None of them felt right though. Not to open with. If he was honest he feared the answers. Instead, he asked:

"Why did you make Grace open the door? I just wanted to see you..."

"I..."

Whatever answer Danny could give sounded ridiculous. Foolish. Childish. An explanation sounded like an excuse and he was sick of coming up with excuses for how he felt. Not anymore. He steeled himself. Danny stared hard at the ocean, clenched his fists, and went for it.

"Okay. The truth is Steve-"

"No. Please, don't. Don't say it."

Steve cut him off with a quiet urgency. A soft desperation. One that really knocked the wind out of Danny's sails and dropped his heart off of the balcony altogether.

"But... I thought-"

"It's okay, you don’t have to. I know what you’re gonna say..."

Danny blinked at Steve as he bowed his head. Steve seemed set in his decision. Whatever he thought Danny was going to say, he didn’t want to hear. Even though it left Danny feeling hollow, he couldn't let it go unsaid.

"You do? Okay. What?" He challenged.

"Danny please," Steve whispered, his shoulders sinking low as the ache in his throat rose.

"You don't know what I want to say Steve," Danny said softly.

Steve let out a soft, pained sigh as he closed his eyes. "You're gonna say that this was - that this wasn't- that it was just a bit of fun. That it was stress relief. That all it was was the bombs and the cold and the fear... a distraction. A comfort... that you’ve got someone waiting back home, or your heart is someone else's, and this was... and anyway you’re not _that way_ , not really. So it'll always be an important memory but no one can ever know..."

He had heard it all before. He had joined the navy at sixteen. Every time he dared to risk developing feelings, he was punished for it. Up until Catherine. He couldn't even get her to stay.

Steve felt Danny's hand lay gently on top of his. It was supposed to be a reassurance but it just made his stomach heave.

"We are home Steve. There's no one but Grace waiting for me," Danny said softly.

Steve swallowed so hard against the quiet of the balcony that Danny heard it loud and clear.

"Not even Kono?"

The words felt like white hot coal in his throat but they couldn't go unsaid. Danny lifted his hand away from Steve in surprise. Steve's chest heaved again. Even that small a touch felt like the only thing they still had to connect them.

Danny felt a surge of regret as his mind went over the last conversations he had had with Steve. So many centred around Kono without him noticing. But Danny only had four people on this island that he cared about anymore. Five if you counted Kamekona, and he didn't like to admit that one. It was only to be expected that Kono came up a lot. Danny leaned his forearms against the rails and glanced towards Steve.

"Y'know what Kono said after we kissed?"

"I..." Steve let out a sigh. He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to know about it at all. But Danny was his best friend and he had to be a grown up about this. "No. What?"

"She said it wasn’t bad and that she'd kissed worse," Danny stated.

There was a short pause as Steve waited for the rest. He glanced towards Danny when it didn’t come and accidentally met his gaze. Danny gave him half a smile.

"That was it. The whole discussion. It was nothing, it meant nothing. I honestly haven't thought about it since."

Steve straightened slightly, "You haven't? But... the mistletoe..."

"Wasn't for Kono."

Steve stared at him for a moment. Danny stole a glance towards his lips, hoping he would put two and two together and they could try again. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions though. It was as if he could feel Steve reading through him. That searing stare was full of accusation, but it softened as he bowed his head again.

Steve shook his head. He looked pained by something that he just couldn't get past.

"You pushed me away..." He breathed.

Danny swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."

"I cant stop thinking about it. Wondering what I did... it thought you hated me..."

"I don’t hate you..."

"I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry that I did it Danny. I don’t want to... I don’t want to lose you over this..."

Danny reeled back in surprise and confusion. Steve winced. Danny was baffled by the foregone conclusion that Steve had created in his head. The very idea that a kiss could drive Danny away. That anything could anymore. Much to Danny's complete surprise - and initial dismay - Steve had him hook line and sinker. Danny wasn’t going anywhere.

"It wasn't you Steve. It was me. It was - I was - ugh..."

The words were impossible to find when he needed them. Danny needed Steve to know that it wasn’t anything he had done. That it was entirely on Danny. That Steve had only done what Danny wanted him to and Danny had been an idiot. But pride stopped him finding the ability to say that. He had to swallow down more of his cocktail to drown it.

"When I felt you kiss me back it made me realise what was happening and I had..."

Danny took a deep breath. It was one thing to say he panicked or joke about the panic attacks that worrying about his daughter caused him, but it was another thing to admit when they actually happened. It wasn't that he was ashamed of them, it was just that they didn't make him feel particularly masculine.

"Actually I had a pretty big panic attack."

Steve's head whipped around, his eyes urgent and concerned, "Oh no are you okay?"

"It was weeks ago Steve if I wasn’t you’d have noticed," Danny muttered, fighting to keep the blush out of his cheeks.

"No I wouldn’t, I haven’t seen you!" Steve huffed.

Danny wrinkled his nose. He couldn’t fight the blush that time. And he couldn't pin it on the biting cold December wind like he could back home. The rush of guilt that came with the way Steve hung his head again made Danny groan.

"Oh I made a mess of this... I know I did, I shouldn't have hidden away but... I was scared. Embarrassed... it was stupid. It was childish. I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn’t want you..."

Danny let out a sigh again and hung his head. He didn't notice the way Steve's head twitched cautiously towards him.

"Do you?'

It was a simple question that held so much weight that it hung heavy in the air between them. Far heavier than the elephant on Danny's chest.

"I..."

The words I Do brought up too many connotations that Danny didnt dare to think about. He felt his cheeks heating up at the idea of them. His voice just couldn't find the strength to make them audibly. Instead, he gave a small and utterly desperate nod. It sent Steve's heart racing so fast it skipped a beat. He licked his lips as he tried to hold his nerve.

"There's this... _tradition..._ on new years eve. A good luck kiss at midnight..."

There was a lull in conversation as Steve's hands clammed up. Danny cleared his throat slightly and nodded again.

"I've... I've heard of it."

"I don't have a date..." Steve muttered.

Danny nodded, "And?"

Steve cleared his throat again, but swallowed instead of speaking. Danny blinked. He was fairly certian that he knew what Steve was asking, but he didn't dare assume. Steve desperately wanted an answer but he didn't dare ask.

If he didn't actually ask and Danny never actually answered they could live in peace knowing they'd asked but never actually know. If it worked for Schrodinger...

It wouldn't work for Danny. Not with the life they lead. All the dangers they faced. Life was endlessly long for how little time they had. He didn't want to risk any more of it being awkward.

"If you dont ask, you dont get Steve."

Being brave comes in two ways. Having no fear about something youre about to do, and doing something even though you're terrified. The second one often bore better fruit, but Steve never once liked it.

But for _Danny..._

"Can I... can we... do you..."

"Do I?"

"Do you... want to... will you..."

"Yeah?"

Steve sighed. He closed his eyes and shook his head. This was too much of a struggle. The words were there in his chest but he couldn't force them up to his mouth. He couldn't find it in himself to voice them. So he shook his head and said something easier.

"Do you want to dance some more?"

Danny's shoulder's fell. That was not what he wanted to hear, but Steve had struggled. He had tried. And it was at least a lot better than it had been earlier. It didn't make his stomach flip when Steve nudged against him anymore. Danny nudged him back gently.

"We good Steve?" He asked quietly.

Steve gave a small nod, "Course."

Danny smiled softly and sighed with relief, "Good."

Steve licked his lips again, "you uh... you didn't answer my question."

"We can dance but I can't promise my legs can," Danny joked.

"I'll hold you up," Steve smiled softly.

The music was muffled but it didn't matter. This wasn't about dancing. Alcohol made Danny's legs like bambi on ice, but Steve stayed upright and sturdy. He didn't feel sturdy, but someone had to hold Danny up. When Steve staggered, they both did. He couldnt have that. Danny needed someone he could lean on, so Steve planted his feet and swayed to the music instead.

Danny hooked one arm around Steve's neck, resting it against his collar bone, and Steve wrapped his arms around Danny's middle. His weight was heaved against Steve's chest. Steve's arms balanced him carefully between his feet and his chest. Their legs barely moved other than to sway mildly. As firm a grip they had on each other, the longing kept them distant. Their tenderness unspoken.

Hidden away from the party, in the darkness to dance alone and in secret, as though when the music ended they may never touch again, the two of them would not have been out of place in a war movie. Through the mists of time long dead soldiers who missed their opportunity watched them from the stars, desperately screaming for them to appreciate what they themselves could not. To open their eyes and just _say it._

But mists of time steal words and voices.

All Steve and Danny could hear was the distant ocean, the muffled music, and the beat of one anothers hearts. Steve wanted nothing more than to nestle his head against Danny's shoulder and feel the full weight of him, but not tonight. Not without permission.

"Danny..."

Even in that soft whisper of his, his warm voice was loud this close to Danny's ear. Danny tilted his head back to meet his gaze.

"At midnight..."

Steve's soft whisper trailed off again. He had become very good at not finishing sentences. Danny knew him well enough to finish them for him. Danny pulled back slightly, so his his weight was less against Steve's chest, and more on his shoulders. Whatever butterflies were left in his stomach were drowning, but they werent going down without a fight.

"I... I don't want things to be any more awkward between us Steve," Danny muttered.

Steve's heart sank. His eyes closed and he bowed his head like he had been punched to the gut. Not a hugely visible reaction, but for Steve it was practically tears.

"Oh. Right. Of course..." he breathed.

He let his arms slip down away from Danny enough to distance himseld without letting go. This was a proper distance for friends, he decided. That idea was what he used to console himself with. That while his fragile heart had been shattered again, he still had his best friend.

"I just feel like a big build up would make things... anti climatic..." Danny muttered.

Explaining himself took a little more effort when he was drunk, but he wanted to do it. He wanted Steve to understand him. To stop looking so heartbreakingly sad.

"Oh?" Steve sighed.

"I'd rather kiss you now..."

_"Oh."_

Steve's head perked back up in suprise. Even in the low light Danny could see the way his mouth gaped. Just like last time... Danny shifted nervously at the memory. The movement made Steve's hand move back towards his waist to steady him. It was an automatic and protective move. Steve had always been protective.

Danny's hand crawled up Steve's arm, pausing only to steady himself as he tried to stand on his own two feet. When Steve's hands slipped away from Danny's waist he wasn't sure what to do with them. He didn't want to touch Danny in any way that would get him pushed away again. Steve also didn't want him to feel how clammy his hands had gotten. His heart was already thumping hard. The build up this time was worse. Either of them could bail out and leave the other one feeling like an idiot. They had to trust that this time it wouldnt be like that...

Steve licked his lips nervously as he allowed himself to brush his forehead against Danny's. It was a silent request for permission. Danny could feel his ragged breath on his skin. It made his stomach quake.

No December night should make him feel this hot.

Steve hesitantly tipped his nose forward. He kept pulling back, just in case... Danny's pulse quickened. Steve's eyes closed. Danny's gut wrenched.

"Wait-"

It came as a shock to both of them but it was like a dagger to Steve. His head snatched itself back but his hands stayed glued in place. Danny's nails dug themselves into his shoulders to hold him near. He didnt want to let go. The catch in his voice was nervous and Danny didn't usual bother with nerves when Steve was around. Then again, Steve never did either until his heart got involved.

The mixed signals sent his head spinning. He wasn't sure what state his heart was in now, crushed or still beating, but his chest felt lead lined.

"Wait?" He repeatedly softly, hoping Danny would change his mind.

Danny's stomach grumbled. He could feel the muscles tensing and squirming defensively. Danny's heart was thumping so hard that his ribs ached and his lungs were burning from shallow shaky breaths. His stomach took that to mean he had been poisoned.

"Im gonna be sick..."

"Oh..." Steve sounded hurt, like it was a personal slight. It took a moment for dannys words to seep through the alcohol slowing his mind. "Oh! oh, okay, let's get you up to the room yeah? Somewhere nice and private for a while. This way."


	4. Chapter 4

There was something strangely intimate about two drunk people crammed onto the floor of a hotel bathroom at quarter to midnight on new years eve. Even if one threw up something so blue it looked like toilet drake. Danny groaned heavily as he rested his head on his arm across the toilet seat. Steve rubbed circles into his back reassuringly. He was leaning with his back against the bathtub and his legs out the door, but he stayed close to Danny so he could feel him there. Steve had taken off his own jacket as the heat stagnated and now that Danny sat back on his haunches to gasp for breath, Steve could ease his off of his shoulders too.

"You okay?" Steve asked quietly.

It was a redundant question but Danny was in no state to point that out right now.

"I feel awful," he groaned.

Steve tried to show him some pity, but he wasn't any more sober than Danny was, and something in him made him chuckle.

"That's not the kind of thing the guy who almost kissed you wants to hear," he said.

Danny raised his head to give him an unimpressed look as he said, "it's nothing to do with you and everything to do with the drinks I've been mixing all night."

"Good," Steve said. The relief that swept through him was something he hadn't known he needed. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to mix drinks?"

"I was nervous!" Danny whined defensively.

He had forgotten that it was Chin who challenged him last time, not Steve. Steve arched an eyebrow at him.

"Nervous? Why? It's a ball Danny, its just a gala with more dancing, what's there to be nervous about?"

Danny raised his head enough to give Steve a disdainful look. Steve stared at him, baffled. Danny rolled his eyes and settled his head back on his arm.

"God you're an idiot."

"Oh. _Oh!_ You were nervous about me?!"

Had Danny been in a better state of mind he would have sarcastically said something like "ding, ding, ding, give the man a prize" or pointed out that for a Detective he wasn't very good at seeing what was right in front of him. Steve, however, couldn't help that tiny slither of smugness now in his heart. He couldn’t imagine making Danny nervous. Danny made him nervous. The fact the feeling went both ways was enough to make his heart rise.

Danny felt another surge rise in his gut and Steve went straight back to rubbing circles between his shoulder blades like that was any help. What helped was removing his jacket. Now that it was safely bundled on the floor with Steve, Danny just had his shirt to constrict him. It was a lot looser and a lot cooler. He was grateful to not have a tie now.

Danny groaned as he wiped his mouth on his arm and leaned back against the wall.

"God this reminds me of prom night," he muttered.

Steve tilted his head at him. "This does?"

"Lying on the bathroom floor with my head in the toilet and my suit on the ground? I’m pretty sure that was prom night..." Danny nodded, with a weak smile, "could have been my wedding though. Someone on the football team spiked the punch."

"At your wedding?" Steve blinked in confusion.

Danny closed his eyes and shook his head, "No..."

Steve wasn't sure what to say. Danny never really talked about his wedding. His marriage he never stopped complaining about, except for any bits that included Grace, but the actual wedding never got mentioned.

"I never went to my prom," Steve said.

Slowly, wearily, Danny opened his eyes again. He said nothing, but he looked towards Steve, watching him, waiting for him to continue.

"I wanted to. I had a date lined up and everything. Her name was Leila," Steve said.

"Why didn't you go?" Danny asked.

"Mom."

"Right..."

Danny wrinkled his nose apologetically. He knew Steve’s mother was a weak spot for him. One he almost never spoke about. And that wasn’t like his SEAL days either. Danny couldn't pull up files to uncover buzzwords like Operation Strawberry Fields to wring information out of Steve when it came to his mother. At least as far as he knew anyway. The best he could do was talk privately to Mary when she came to visit, but that was rare and to get her without Steve was rarer. Besides she was too young to remember much. Danny had settled into acceptance that he might never know much about Doris McGarrett.

Steve leaned his head back against the bath and let out a long sigh, "I got sent away just before prom. It didn’t seem to matter anymore... we had a prom though. Sort of. Turns out loads of us navy kids missed out on prom for various reasons-"

"Go figure," Danny scoffed.

"So one of our days off of training we threw ourselves a prom. Imagine it, I dare you. We had suits, obviously, but they were navy blues. Some of the navy brats that lives with their families on base came. There were thirty guys to six girls and I couldn't tell you one of their names," Steve said.

Danny looked surprised. "You didn’t dance with them?"

"No, I did. A buddy of mine danced with all six. He just wanted lose his virginity before he had to go to war. All I wanted was one dance with him..." Steve's face twisted with a tangle of emotions. It was mostly nostalgic amusement for his own youthful innocence, and some residual jealousy that would probably never fully go away, but it was tinged with some level of sadness that filled Danny with dread. Steve gave a breezy laugh though. "I was so jealous when he went off with some girl that I stopped talking to him. He didn't understand why. _I_ didn't understand why... I couldn't ever tell him..."

Steve hung his head slightly. His smile didn’t fade but his eyes gave away the growing ache in his heart. If Danny had been more stable, physically and emotionally, he would have moved closer to comfort him. Instead, for safety, he stayed still.

"What happened?" He asked, quietly.

In the quiet of the bathroom Steve's gulp was loud. He lifted his head with a deep breath. He didn't pretend to be okay though. He didn't need to. Danny knew he wasn't.

"Dunno. Missing presumed killed in action. A lot of the kids at prom were," he said.

It was far too calm. It sounded far too casual. Steve had lost too many people. It just felt like static now. Danny, drunk and feeling the shadow of his own problems, let out a deep exhale.

"Fucking cheerful you are," he muttered.

The laugh that came from Steve was just relief at the broken tension.

"Sorry," he smiled softly. There was a pause in conversation as he licked his lips thoughtfully. "If I helps... if it helps he was my first."

Danny's head snapped up and his eyes bore into Steve in silent shock and accusation. It took Steve a moment to realise why and when he did his cheeks felt hotter.

"No, no, not that first!" He insisted, embarrassed, "No, he was my first male crush. He was who got me questioning."

Danny lifted his chin to nod in understanding. Steve let out a small sigh of relief to be understood. He gave Danny a quiet, questioning look and Danny wrinkled his nose. He understood what he wanted to know without question. Even without a word said between them they could have a conversation.

"I... I never really felt like this before. Not for a guy. Not since middle school. He was... He was over so fast. My head got turned by someone, I cant even remember who. Kids are so fickle with infatuation. I thought he was a one time thing... then you came alone and I... I guess I'm not as straight as I think I am."

There was a soft snort from the man. He amused himself.

"I had no idea..." Steve muttered.

"That I wasn't straight or that I-" whatever force stopped Danny from voicing his growing affections he didn't understand, but he didn’t try to argue against it. "I didn't you weren't either."

Steve hummed in agreement as he shifted where he sat. He gave a weary laugh as he said, "Don't ask don't tell was really drilled into me. For _some reason."_

"By Joe?"

"How'd you know?"

"Just a guess."

Danny really didn’t mean to sound bitter. He didn't think he did. But Steve knew him too well. There was a little too much grumbled in it. It was just a little too annoyed whenever he was mentioned. Steve had noticed it before.

"You don't like Joe," Steve said.

It wasn't a question, but it wasn’t an accusation either. Just a quiet statement of fact. But Danny looked at him with mild fear in his eyes.

"I never said that," he said.

Steve gave him a soft smile, "You never had to."

Danny gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I know he’s important to you. I try to like him, I do, but it's just..."

Danny bowed his head. He really didn’t want Steve to feel like he was invalidating the connection between him and Joe. Steve just nodded calmly.

"Joe is important to me. He looks out for me. He introduced me to cath, and he pushed me into dating her. I was way too nervous to ask her out because she was my friend. I didn't want my feelings to ruin what we had." Steve gave a smirk and nudged Danny's foot playfully. "Sound familiar?"

Danny gave a soft laugh and shook his head. The movement made his head spin a little. The alcohol made him dizzy.

"I know he's important to you. I'll try harder to pretend I like him, but I don't think I ever will," Danny apologised.

Steve shook his head, "I don't want you to pretend anything Danny. I love... I like you the way you are. I have enough people pretending to be things they aren't, or feel ways they don’t, I don’t need that. If you don’t like Joe you don’t like him. It doesn't matter because I like you both."

Danny would have pushed further, to dig into what Steve loved, but his stomach was churning again. Steve's tongue ran along the edge of his lip thoughtfully. "But... Can I ask why?"

Danny's stomach gurgled dangerously. Both of them froze just in case. It took both of them a moment to accept that nothing was going to happen. Danny breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to be sick again. Steve patted his leg gently. It was such a simple move that it reminded Danny of the way he used to stroke Rachel's back and hold back her hair when she was pregnant. Back when they used to face their troubles together. And if they were going to face troubles together, they had to start with honesty.

"Joe was the reason you joined the Navy right?" Danny asked.

Steve nodded. There was a little smile that came with the memory. It made Danny's chest ache. He sighed and hung his head again.

"You were a kid Steve. Your mom died. You needed protecting. You shouldn't have been sent away and you shouldn't have been encouraged to join the navy. You were just a kid..."

"The navy made me who I am," Steve said.

Danny sighed and nodded. "I know."

There was a bolt of alarm through Steve at the way Danny said that. He had no idea who he was without what he had done. The titles he had earned were part of him. They were his name. The navy was part of him. The idea that Danny didn’t like it felt like finding out he didn't like one of his limbs. He had always considered the Navy his safety net but if it was a choice between them and Danny...

"You don't like it?"

Danny glanced up at Steve's tone. The concern that filled it made his chest spark with guilt. He didn't really know what to say, but he was too drunk to lie and once he started the anger bubbled inside of him and he couldn’t stop.

"I don't like how much the navy has taken from you. How much it still takes from you. I don’t like how no ones willing to help you when you need it but they still demand your help when they need it. It's selfish, you're a Lieutenant commander for God's sake doesn't that mean something to them beyond treating you like a punching bag? I don’t like how many scars you've got on your back because of them. The scars I don't mind, I actually kind of like them, it's proof of how brave and stupid you are, but I resent that you had to get them in the first place. I don't like how its given you this ridiculous need to seek out adrenaline and run head long into danger. I don’t like seeing you in hospital knowing how close I keep coming to losing you when I still haven't managed to find a way to tell you I love you... I respect what the navy has done for America but what its done to you personally I'll never forgive it and I'll never forgive Joe for pushing you into it."

Danny finished with a decisive nod and looked up at Steve, ready to argue and defend his position. Steve just stared at him. He had been quietly formulating an argument in retaliation right up until he said that. Once he actually heard the words, all the air had been knocked out of Steve's lungs.

"You love me?"

Shit. Danny definitely had not meant to say that. His heart thumped hard as his mind searched for an excuse.

"Don’t listen to me, what do I know, I'm drunk," he grumbled.

Steve tilted his head at Danny as he watched the man try and sink down lower into the ground. His legs betrayed him by thumping against the bath. As curmudgeonly as this goof was, Steve found his antics endearing.

"You seem done being sick. Think you can make it to the bed?"

Danny gave a little nod. Steve stood up first. His legs had gone numb from sitting for so long. Even so he stood up to hold an arm out to Danny. Danny latched onto Steve's arm as he helped to heave him up to his feet. He leaned heavily against Steve as they stumbled back towards the bed. Danny had faith he could hold him up. When they made it to the double bed in the middle of the room both of them dropped down onto it. Danny rolled over onto his back and Steve stomach crawled over his legs to lie down on the other side of him.

Danny's legs were buzzing where Steve's weight had pushed down on him. He gulped nervously as his partner settled into bed beside him and let out a long breath. Both laid in silence, in the dark, staring up at the ceiling together. It wasn't uncomfortable in any way, but they were each keenly aware of the other's presence. Anything could happen under cover of darkness...

"You should go back to the party," Danny muttered.

Steve rolled his head to the side to look at him. There was a beat before he gave a playful scoff.

"And leave you here alone? Nah. Besides it wont be any fun without you," he smiled.

Danny didn't need to see Steve to hear the smile in his voice. It made his head spin even more than it already was.

"But it's nearly midnight," he said.

"Its not like I have a date waiting for me," Steve shrugged.

There was another long pause as Steve rolled his head back up to look at the ceiling.

"Chin and Kono are gonna notice we're gone," Danny said.

"Are they? Chin was drinking before Malia turned up and you know he cant see anything else when she’s around. And Kono's with that Noshimuri guy. She might notice we're gone but she'll be too busy dancing to question it," Steve countered.

"They'll question us on Monday," Danny warned.

Steve shrugged, "That's Monday's problem."

Danny sighed. Steve gave up whatever fun that party could have been just to lay in the dark on top of the covers of a hotel bed with him. On the one hand, if the tables were reversed, Danny would do the exact same thing. On the other, he didn't want to be the reason Steve missed out on anything fun.

"I'm sorry I ruined your night."

Steve snorted and rolled his head to look at Danny again. "Are you kidding? My best friend stopped avoiding me, I got to dance with the man I have feelings for, and I found out he loves me. that's a pretty damn good way to end a year."

Steve chuckled to himself as he rolled his head away again. Danny felt his chest ease for a fleeting moment, before he quietly made a decision to test the waters between them again.

Danny's hand slipped quietly off of his stomach. He let his arm lie loose across the bed covers. Low enough that his hand brushed ever so cautiously against Steve's. Steve felt his heart beginning to beat harder again. He waited to be sure. Danny's little finger curved across the length of his index finger, nervously questioning his resolve. Steve's heart beat harder again as he cautiously twisted his palm to wrap his little finger around Danny's. Danny's breath caught in his throat. It would have gone unnoticed downstairs, but in the silence of their room, it was amplified. Steve bit his lip nervously too as he eased his fingers against Danny's palm. Danny's fingers closed between his, gently clamping onto him to keep him close.

It was the slowest either of them had ever held hands before, and their insides were bundles of nerves because of it. The triumphant victory of hand holding filled their chests like sunlight filling stained glass. Colours pooled inside of them, pushing aside the cold dark anxieties niggling at them.

Mostly.

But Danny had a more anxieties about anyone else Steve had ever met. He wasn't about to give up his heart until he was entirely certain that it was entirely reciprocated.

"Hey Steve?" He whispered.

Steve had to struggle to peel his eyes open again. With the softness of the bed beneath him and the alcohol numbing his brain, sleep was clawing at him.

"What?" He whispered back, stifling a yawn.

Danny's thumb drew circles around his knuckle like a video buffering on bad Wi-Fi as he considered whether or not he dared ask what was on his mind. He dared not.

"Nothing."

Steve's hand tightened against his in a reassuring squeeze as he rolled his head to look at Danny again. Whatever fears Danny had that he voiced now could be avoided later. Steve didn't care how late they stayed up, or how stupid it felt, he wasn't going to let nerves keep them apart any longer.

"Tell me. Please."

Danny's stomach ached. He felt terrible for even thinking it. But when he rolled his head to look back at Steve and the way his eyes traced Danny's face even in the darkness so that he could try and understand what he was feeling, Danny felt he owed it to him to help.

"You... you never called Catherine your girlfriend... you said you had feelings for her, that she was the most important person to you, but you never put a label on it..."

Steve blinked in surprise. His mind was so wrapped up in Danny that he had honestly forgotten that Catherine had existed. He would never have guessed she was what he was thinking about.

"I've never been allowed labels," he said, softly.

Danny swallowed. "I like labels. They make things clear..."

Labels... labels had never made Steve comfortable. People liked to slap labels on people and pigeon hole them as one thing and one thing only. People weren't like that. People made assumptions and Steve spent most of his youth fighting to prove them wrong. Avoiding labels was safer. He wasn't gay if he was sleeping his a fellow SEAL because he wasn't sleeping with _a man_ he was sleeping with _John._ That way he kept his career and his reputation clean. And Catherine couldn't run off and break his heart if she wasn't his girlfriend. If there was enough distance between them to avoid labelling it, they were both safe.

Safe and free to run off on another top secret mission alone...

But he didn't want that distance from Danny. He didn't want any distance from Danny. Right here, right now, laying side by side in bed holding hands, even this felt too distant for him.

But if they labelled it and he left, they would both be hurt more than they ever wanted to hurt each other...

Steve took a deep breath. "What about Rachel?"

Danny blinked into the darkness, utterly lost. "What _about_ Rachel?"

"You were going to leave Hawaii Danno... you were going to leave Five-O... leave me..."

Steve couldn't quite keep the pain out of his voice. He had been adamant that Five-O would clean up the mess Wo Fat had left him in from the moment he came round and found the governor dead by his feet. The utter confusion of Chin arresting him, having re-joined HPD even after the way they had betrayed him and the overwhelming guilt of seeing Kono under arrest beside him and losing everything she had built for herself all over again for the second time in her short life, were nothing compared to the white hot shock of Danny. Danny _leaving._ Leaving with _Rachel._ Taking the little girl that Steve had grown so fond of and running away from Rachel's husband to go home to New Jersey without a goodbye, while Steve was stuck in a jail cell helplessly watching his life crumble around him. With _Victor Hesse_ of all people.

Yeah, that had not been a good day in his mind.

"That was before she realised that her baby was Stan's. She just wanted the kid to know it's father," Danny shrugged.

"But you could have been it's father," Steve argued. "And you were willing to leave."

Rachel was a black hole in Danny's life. Every now and then he got sucked into her mess and he allowed himself to believe that this time, somehow, it would be different. But it never was. And it only brought more problems and more pain. Not only to him anymore, this one had upset Grace too. She had almost lost her home again and then she didn’t, and her parents almost got back together and then they didn’t, and it left her more confused than ever.

Danny would never do that again.

"Rachel and I failed to make it work _twice._ Remember that old phrase fool me once shame on you, fool me twice..." Danny muttered.

"She's Grace's mother. She'll always be in your life," Steve said.

"She's my ex-wife. We will always be bound together by those labels Steve. Doesn't mean I haven't learned my lesson about that."

It was Steve's turn to draw circles into Danny's hand as he carefully considered the situation he would be stepping into. Once Steve had argued with the governor to ensure that Grace had to stay on Oahu with Danny so that he didn’t lose either of them. He didn't want to lose either of them. Ever. And if somehow, some way, things went wrong...

"If Rachel came back and asked to try again..." Steve began quietly.

He gulped. He couldn't find the words.

"If Catherine did?" Danny asked.

Steve reeled back slightly. He didn't even consider it an option anymore. Danny squeezed his hand so firmly that it was enough of an answer. Danny didn't want Rachel. Neither of them wanted anyone else.

"We can't be controlled by past mistakes Steve. We can only have what we have and trust that that's enough," Danny whispered.

Steve's eyes were wide and his mouth slightly slacked in awe as he gave a timid nod. "I can trust that..."

Danny snorted, "You were going to let Kono and Adam Noshimuri dance so she couldn't dance with me anymore."

Steve wrinkled his nose as he tightened his grip on Danny's hand. It felt silly now, but seeing him dancing with someone else had made his insides feel like he had swallowed hot lava.

"Okay so I might be a little..."

"Jealous?" Danny offered, gleefully.

" _Over protective_ ," Steve corrected.

Danny sniggered. Steve could call it what he wanted, he was jealous that Danny's attention was on someone else and as childish as it was, it made him feel pretty smug.

"But in my defence you told me you wanted to kiss Kono. And you cant use her boyfriend as an excuse because you had an affair with Rachel. You can understand where I'm coming from," Steve countered.

"Except I'm not your possession Steve, I'm your... I don't know what I am because you don't like labels," Danny huffed.

"It's not that I don't like labels Danny, I was never _allowed_ labels. Not like this anyway. I wouldn’t really know if I like them or not. I don’t even know which one would fit," Steve complained.

"So you won't even try?" Danny sounded disappointed.

Steve let out a sigh. He didn't like labels but he hated disappointing Danny.

"You really want to label this?"

"I'd like to be able to tell people where we stand."

Steve rolled onto his side to face him again. He raised their joint hands high enough to brush a kiss against Danny's knuckles.

"I love you Danno. Is that a good enough label?"

"I was thinking boyfriend-"

Danny's words died instantly as his eyes widened in the darkness. There was something about hearing the word that had been rattling around in his head out loud that made it sound different. Made him actually _hear_ it and what it meant. And it made his pulse race.

"oh God that sounds weird... my _boyfriend_ Steve McGarrett!" He gave a half hearted laugh as he did.

"My boyfriend Daniel Williams..." Steve echoed, "it sounds..."

Steve trailed off and rolled slightly away from Danny. Danny clung harder to his hand, ready to pull him back.

"What?" He asked, cautiously.

"Don’t get me wrong, I like it, but it feels weird... I've never had a boyfriend before. No one ever..." Steve trailed off for a second before giving his own breathy laugh, "I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do..."

_"You’re_ gonna have a lot of explaining to do?! Six months ago Grace thought her mom and dad we're getting back together and we were moving home to Jersey together! Now _that's_ a lot of explaining," Danny laughed.

Danny had meant it light heartedly. After all Grace was young and she was smart and she would try to understand, but he had no doubt it would be confusing for her. At least for a while. But she loved Steve and Steve loved her and he was confident they would be able to push past that bump with ease.

Steve, however, froze. His eyes widened and his jaw fell and his heart just completely stopped.

"You want to tell Grace about me?"

The fear in his tone sent a shiver through Danny that twisted his insides.

"You don’t?"

"N-no, it's not that I don't, it's just... I remember how big her meeting Gabby was for you... meeting anyone who isn't Rachel is big for you..."

Danny breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't that Steve didn't like the idea of Grace knowing, but the implications of that made him nervous. That Danny could understand.

"Grace loves you," he assured him.

"She wont if she thinks I'm what’s keeping her mom and dad apart," Steve countered.

"Stan's already got that role," Danny countered back.

Steve huffed. He tried to picture Grace in his mind. The happy little girl that he had been coaching how to improve her baseball swing. Last week she had hit a home run and he had swept her off of her feet and thrown her onto his shoulders to celebrate. He could still hear her beautiful laugh ringing in his ears. He couldn't stand the idea of her turning against him in any way.

"Can... do you mind if... can we keep it secret from her for a bit? Just until you and I are comfortable I mean. I really love Grace, I don't want to risk upsetting her if something goes wrong with us, or if she..."

"The fact you're worrying about upsetting her is exactly why she loves you. Exactly why it's going to be okay."

"Danny I mean it. I worked really hard to get to know her so she would be comfortable around me, I want to still be Uncle Steve even if you and I don't work out."

Steve said it so firmly that it reminded Danny that there was a flicker of doubt inside of him that could spark into more if they didn't tread carefully. If they didn't talk honestly. But that scared him.

"And I thought I was the pessimist. We've been dating thirty seconds and you already think we're breaking up," he said.

"To be fair I've never had an _ex-_ boyfriend before either," Steve teased.

"Boyfriend still sounds weird..." Danny muttered.

His hand became lose against Steve's as the nerves began to build themselves up again. Steve wasn’t having that. He curled his hand firmly around Danny's and used it to tug him closer so he could link an arm around his waist too.

"How about we stick with partner for a while? Until it starts to sound more, us?" Steve said.

"My partner Steve," Danny said to himself. His smile broke through the darkness. "Now that sounds right."

Steve chuckled affectionately. "You're drunk Danno, go to sleep."

"You're drunk too, you go to sleep!" Danny countered.

Steve chuckled again. He tugged Danny closer until their heads were nestled into the same pillow. Both of them settled down there, enjoying the warmth of having someone they loved this close. Until a loud booming sound crackled through the air. Steve latched onto Danny so urgently that Danny's eyes flew open.

"What's that?" Steve asked sharply.

"Fireworks," Danny assured him gently. His hand fell against Steve's chest to try and ease the thundering of his heart. "It's midnight. There's always fireworks."

Steve gave a weak nod. He didn’t like the memories those noises brought back to him. Even if sometimes they found comfort in those fox holes, it unsettled him. He had never told Danny that before. He never dared to. But Danny's hand was pawing reassuringly at his chest in a way that let him know he was safe. He wasn’t alone. For that alone, Steve fell in love with him all over again.

"New year... Anything could happen," Danny said.

"Not without a little luck," Steve said, pointedly.

Danny tilted his head, "Are you sure, because I just-"

Steve was sure. He pressed his lips against Danny's. Tired and desperate and affectionate. Danny's hand moved up to his jaw, holding him closer. He felt Steve's soft smile through his lips. Danny still tasted like blue Hawaiians. If Steve hadn’t been drunk before, by the time the broke apart he would. Danny wriggled forward to nestle down against Steve's chest. This close he could hear the thudding of Steve's heart. And the way it skipped a beat.

"Happy new year Steve," Danny yawned.

Steve grinned. He wrapped his arms around Danny and nuzzled against his soft, perfect hair, messing it up now that it was finally his to do so. Yeah. This was a happy new year indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this time I mean it. This time it's over. Just 3 chapters after it was meant to...


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